November 10, 2010

Our Subtitle

In case we ever end up changing blog titles in the distant future, let's keep the current one documented at least:

Singer Way
Justin & Jessica, then everything else.

No stroke of creativity here; the title is just our street name. We love our neighborhood, it has a nice ring to it, and it fits. If [when] we move to a new house one day, we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. Choosing the right subtitle, however, proved to be a little more difficult and has more meaning.

The subtitle alludes to our shared principle that marriage is about a husband and wife first, then everything else next. [I should clarify that more so, we share the belief that having God at the center of our marriage comes well before the "everything else" part].

We have only been married a shade over two years. We don't claim to know a lot or everything about marriage. We don't even have kids running around yet, and we know that's a big curve ball. But we do know that the "secret" to our strong marriage so far starts with us being equally yoked as Christians and continues with the constant reminder that we are husband and wife first.

In one of the last episodes of Jon & Kate Plus Eight where their separation / divorce was looming, we heard both say the same thing in separate interviews: "I just want what's best for my kids."

[Yes, sadly, a quote from Jon & Kate Plus Eight, a show that Jessica used to enjoy watching. If there was to be Thursday night football on ESPN or Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls, there was definitely some Brothers & Sisters, 18 Kids and Counting, or J&K+8 on at other times during the week.]

Back on point. That train wreck of a show started out as a husband and wife looking for a way to financially support their eight kids and ended up as a two people disagreeing about using their family to profit financially. As their marriage was on the verge of collapse, they simply echoed, "I just want what's best for my kids." We're about to be parents soon, and there's no doubt that we will want the very best for our kids but, there's no way we can utter those words within the context of our marriage.

We know that if we really what's best for our [future] kids, the best gift we can give them is a good marriage.

We need to make each other feel appreciated, encourage each other, and date each other.

[I just heard this today: date your wife or someone else will.]

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