Showing posts with label Simple. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simple. Show all posts

August 9, 2011

Parenting Guide

I've written about it in the past, but I follow a blog called "Becoming Minimalist" that provides fantastic tips for simplifying your life. While the blog's philosophy is "Own Less. Live More." (the idea of reducing physical possessions in order to focus more on the more important parts of your life), the content is about so much more than material things.

Below is a great example from today's article (source). As a new parent, I liked it so much that I felt the need to re-post it.

On a side note, the author of this blog is a Christian (a youth pastor I think?), but it seems like over time he's more readily replaced his references to his faith in God with "spirituality" in order to appeal to a larger market. A branding or business move I presume, but a sellout move in my opinion.

Nevertheless, this article was insightful, and I'm glad there are still people out there who will write this. 

A Simple Guide to Successful Parenting

1. Successful parents love their spouse. Healthy marriages form the foundation on which children base their lives. They provide the stability necessary for young children to grow, thrive, and experiment. Home becomes a safe place that models and encourages selfless love. Successful parents are faithful to their spouse. They do not take for granted the life-commitment they have made to one another. They work hard each day to love their spouse. And they pride themselves on what they can give to the relationship… not in what they can take from it.

2. Successful parents correct harmful behaviors, attitudes, and worldviews. The old proverb holds true, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” While discipline can take various forms (I would never recommend a literal rod) and should be adapted for each particular child, it must be present for parenting success. Children need to learn everything from the ground-up including appropriate behaviors, how to get along with others, how to get results, and how to achieve their dreams. Discipline should not be avoided or withheld. It should never be motivated by anger, pride, or selfish reasons… because then it causes harm rather than resulting in benefit. Instead, it should be motivated by love and a desperate desire to see your children become the best that they can be.

3. Successful parents encourage healthy behaviors, attitudes, and worldviews. Parenting is a thinking man’s game. It takes energy, strategy, and intentionality. Yet, many parents are unwilling to give it the attention that it deserves. As a result, their children become shaped by the world around them rather than by the parents who love them. Successful parents do not just discourage unhealthy habits, they also intentionally encourage positive habits. They envision the type of person they would like their children to become. They consistently model that behavior for them. They speak lofty expectations into their childrens’ lives. They think the best of their children. They provide opportunities for their children to learn valuable life lessons. And they praise positive habits both privately and publicly.

4. Successful parents encourage spirituality. I’ll probably steer away from the beaten path here for a moment, but there is a deep sense in my heart that wise parents encourage spirituality in the lives of their children. They instill within their kids a deep sense that there is more to this world than meets the eye. Some of the greatest things in this world are not things. Instead, they are invisible, life-giving, and eternal. There is a moral compass that guides life on this planet. Wise parents encourage (and provide opportunities) for their children to find it. Some of the most fruitful conversations I have with my children center on this topic of spirituality. And I always encourage parents to consider them.

5. Successful parents know when to let go. Parenting is 100% parents trying to shape lives and 100% children choosing their own life. While parenting requires time, energy, love, sweat, and tears, it also requires freedom to allow our children to make their own decisions and choose their own paths. It is a difficult balance that varies from child to child… but parents who neglect to let go cause harm. And they never accomplish the very goal of parenting itself: Making wise choices in order to prepare young men and women to be released into the world as responsible adults.

January 31, 2011

The Slow Lane

The year 2011 brings many changes for the Y Household. In all the commotion of the events of the past year, I have inadvertently strayed from a few of my key principles of daily living. Now is the perfect time to take a step back, get back to the basics, and slow life down.

Certainly, blog post frequency will take a hit. From this point forward, I am done the weekly schedule, and in theory, quantity will be replaced with quality. If you want to see more of us and Ezra, come down to sweet North Carolina and visit to catch up the old fashioned way. Spring is just around the corner, and the weather is beautiful here.

It's time to recharge and change the way I do things. While I'm not converting to minimalism [yet], there are many beneficial minimalist practices that I will definitely apply. Here are a few areas in my life that I will revisit.


Distractions

I spend at least eight hours a day staring at a computer while at work, often more than an hour or two in the evening staring at a TV, and maybe up to an hour throughout the day in aggregate looking at my iPhone. Work is required, but the TV and iPhone are definitely not. When I take out time spent driving, sleeping, and eating, I haven't left myself much time for everything else.

[This graphic illustrates how Americans spend their time. It is really telling.]

I plan on dramatically reducing my distractions so I can focus more on family time, reading [sports blogs don't count], praying, thinking, and relaxing. See Leisure below.


Finances

I will be honest and say that 2010 was the worst financial year on record. While we made the most money in one year to date, the problem was what we did with all of it. We forgot who it really belongs to. [Hint: it's not us.] Never again. A complete overhaul is already in progress. Off the bookshelf: The Total Money Makover by Dave Ramsey.

With the previous lifestyle we built, it will certainly be very challenging. We are excited to see what God can do. We will do more with less. We will be smarter. And He will make it work.


Faith

Bringing Ezra into the world has brought Jessica and I closer to God than we have ever been, but it's not for the reasons you might think. If you want to know our story, just ask us. Today, our relationship with Christ is affirmed and renewed, and Jessica and I are even closer to each other as a result.


Leisure

With all the freed up time, this year will bring loads of low or no cost entertainment. Once the weather gets better, you will find us spending most of our leisure time outside and at our local parks and trails. We will play more board games, cook and bake together, create our own entertainment, and work on simplifying our life.